You know it's coming. You can feel it like the anticipation before a hurricane. You can almost hear it like a train approaching. And then it hits you. Another milestone. You want to embrace it, but the mother in you who yearns to hold onto her baby forever can't seem to embrace it as the celebratory accomplishment that it is. Matty just finished his first year of school. And I'm beside myself with something I can't quite describe; guilt at feeling so upset when I feel I should be feeling so happy, sadness for the end of an incredibly beautiful chapter and panic at feeling like my sweet, angelic cherub is growing up far too fast.
I took Matt to feed the ducks after school today. And as he threw our stale baguette to the birds he yelled what I can only describe as toddler profanity to the greedy geese who are adept at getting more than their fair share. He never used to do this. Soon, I suppose, he'll be giving those geese the middle finger. As we walked home, hand in hand, I thought about just how very important it is to carpe diem every single day.
